When a sexual sinner repents, self dies and God reigns. It is far more than merely giving up one’s sexual sin, but surrendering one’s whole life. In this age, sin will always be present in us. But in true repentance, the sinner’s life is no longer controlled by his sexual sin. Instead, he is governed by a longing to obey God.
For more than 25 years, I have counseled Christian men and women who have lived in bondage to sexual sin. I’ve met with people who have hired prostitutes, had affairs, were addicted to pornography, lied, and blamed a spouse for their problems. I’ve listened while they described financial loss, job loss, sleep loss, and familial loss, all due to sexual sin.
As we look to the future, we see the spiritual and relational threats of sexual sin are even greater in the coming generation. Preteens are increasingly engaging in oral sex, and large numbers are likely to access porn (intentionally or unintentionally), often setting in motion a life of bondage. A few generations ago, dating relationships for teens moved from the front porch to the back seat, changing sexual behavior forever. Today, “friends with benefits” and sexting are becoming increasingly normal.
The already serious problem of sexual sin in the church is growing even more serious.
Critical to addressing the increasing amount of sexual sin in the church is understanding that sinful behavior is an indication of a deeper problem.
Tragically, our therapeutic culture often wields greater influence on what needs to change, and how change occurs, than the church does. Contrary to what many believe, freedom from sexual sin doesn’t begin with addressing past painful experiences. Having counseled thousands of men and women, I find that the first step in overcoming sexual sin is to understand that sexual misbehavior is the heart’s arrogant attempt to deal with pain, and that the pain itself is not the problem.
A proper diagnosis should dictate the treatment method. If the diagnosis is wrong, the treatment will be ineffective. But if we believe in God, and trust his word, we can receive a correct diagnosis and know our Master Physician.
Jesus clearly stated the core problem: “From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality . . . adultery . . . sensuality” (Mark 7:21–22). In other words, when it comes to sexual sin, Jesus says our core problem is not what was done to us, but what resides in us.
If our primary problem is sin — and our corrupt, rebellious nature — then we know what primarily needs to be addressed. Since a diagnosis dictates the treatment, if sin is the diagnosis, it must be treated with faith and repentance. With sexual sin, real change can only begin with real repentance — a change of the heart.
Heart change brings high motivation for behavior change. This is not the motivation of self-disgust or remorse over the harm done to others, but a higher calling. The deceitful heart is a self-centered machine that demands, “It’s my way in life, relationships, and sex. It’s all about me.” Therefore, the repentant sexual sinner gives up the illusionary control of personal desires, the control of life itself.
Let me say it as clearly as I can: When it comes to sexual sin and addiction, recovery is not repentance, and repentance is not recovery. Repentance is not merely human effort. It is not a self-help program. Repentance is God’s surgical procedure, in which he not only humbles the sinner, but works a change in him that is visible from the outside. Yes, the sexual sin stops, but a spouse says of a former sexual sinner, “He’s a different man,” or, “She’s a different woman.”
In repentance, the sexual sinner understands he has broken the law of God and is legally guilty in God’s court. The sexual sinner cries out for mercy, knowing that mercy rests entirely on God’s good pleasure. Biblical repentance not only renounces the sexual behavior; it renounces the world, the flesh, and the devil.
In repentance, the sexual sinner turns from self-seeking and self-trusting to their God. Her internal heart has changed and her controlling desire is for God’s purpose and glory. In other words, there is a new internal drive toward spiritual, relational, and sexual maturity, a striving “for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).
Repentance is a death. When a sexual sinner repents, self dies and God reigns. It is far more than merely giving up one’s sexual sin, but surrendering one’s whole life.
In this age, sin will always be present in us. But in true repentance, the sinner’s life is no longer controlled by his sexual sin. Instead, he is governed by a longing to obey God.
True repentance bears fruit, which goes beyond sobriety. It begins a change from the inside out. There is not only change in behavior, but everything begins to shift at all levels of one’s being. A man becomes a different man; a woman becomes a different woman.
And this transformation of heart brings a transformation in relationships. He becomes a different husband; she becomes a different wife. Where sexual sin was destroying a relationship, the fruit of repentance begins restoring a relationship, as each person considers the other more important than himself (Philippians 2:3).
This article previously appeared on DesiringGod.org, and is used with permission.
The Bible is full of warnings about those who would lead God’s people astray with lies and false teachings, and drag them into sinful, immoral lifestyles. We should steer clear of such people and have nothing to do with them. Yet sadly we seem to find these apostates regularly doing their worst as they lead so many to perdition.
A key example of this are all the so-called Christian leaders who are siding with sodomy and siding against God and his word. I have written often about such false shepherds. My daily reading at the moment is in the prophets, and it seems like almost every chapter has something to say about such false teachers and fake leaders.
For example, why does Jeremiah 15:1 come to mind as we consider all these apostate religious leaders supporting sodomy? It says: “Then the Lord said to me: ‘Even if Moses and Samuel were to stand before me, my heart would not go out to this people. Send them away from my presence! Let them go!’”
Wow, those are some very strong words. Yahweh is saying he wants nothing to do with them, and it is no use even trying to intercede for them. That is heavy duty stuff indeed – yet many Christians today would totally reject such a passage.
They would claim that God could never be like this. They would argue that God is always merciful and gracious, and he would never drive anyone away from himself. And they would insist that God would never tell anyone to stop praying for others.
Well, I prefer to side with God and his word on such matters. In fact, on a number of occasions we read about how God actually says that we should stop praying for certain people. The book of Jeremiah contains other examples of this. Here are a few more:
-Jeremiah 7:16 “So do not pray for this people nor offer any plea or petition for them; do not plead with me, for I will not listen to you.”
-Jeremiah 11:14 “Do not pray for this people nor offer any plea or petition for them, because I will not listen when they call to me in the time of their distress.”
-Jeremiah 14:11 “Then the Lord said to me, ‘Do not pray for the well-being of this people’.”
Such admonitions not to pray for certain people, or how their prayers will go unanswered, are found elsewhere. For example, consider just three more such texts:
-Psalm 80:4 O LORD God Almighty, how long will your anger smolder against the prayers of your people?
-Proverbs 28:9 If anyone turns a deaf ear to my instruction,
even their prayers are detestable.
-Isaiah 1:15 When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood;
And we find similar things in the New Testament. Consider one such passage. 1 John 5:16 says this: “If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that.”
The point is, there are times when even a loving and gracious God says we should save our breath and not pray to him or pray for others. Sometimes people reach a point of no return. Sometimes it is pointless to pray for them. Those are hard words, but they are biblical words.
Chris Wright in his commentary on Jeremiah says this about the four times Jeremiah is told not to pray for his people:
Prophets not only preached, they also prayed. It was part of the prophetic calling. Moses, the model prophet, was the model intercessor. Samuel, Isaiah, and Amos did the same. Jeremiah, then, would have been praying for his people – until God told him to stop. This people were so far gone in rebellion that they were past praying for. It was such a habit for Jeremiah, however, that God had to repeat the instruction several times – making it even more stark in its implications. The triple prohibition of 7:16 is empathetic, and shows the kind of urgent, pleading prayer that must have exercised Jeremiah’s voice when it wasn’t being used for preaching to the people; prayers, pleas and petitions, all now must fall silent.
For I will not listen to you – or to them (11:14; 14:11-12). The words seem harsh and unfeeling, until we set them in the context. Who was not listening to whom? The fact that God now refuses to listen to his people’s prayers is set in the context of repeated emphasis on how they have persistently refused to listen to God’s commands and appeals. Those who will not listen will in the end not be heard either.
If this was true for God’s people back then, how much so for God’s people today? We really have no excuse here. We have the entire revelation of God available to us. The Old and New testaments are readily available to us. We can all read the plain teachings of Scripture of such sins as homosexuality.
If we refuse to listen to and obey God’s word, then he has every reason to stop listening to us. Things are that serious. We need to wake up and get real here. Rejecting the clear teachings of Scripture means that we are rejecting God himself. When we get to that place, we are in dire straits indeed.
We all can rejoice in the grace and mercy of a loving and forgiving God. But contrary to so many worldly Christians, God will not extend his forgiveness and mercy to us forever. There are limits. And when we say no to God often enough and defiantly enough, then he is bound to say a clear no to us.
I have often quoted R. C. Sproul on these matters, but his words are so very good here that they are worth once again running with:
God’s grace is not infinite. God is infinite, and God is gracious. We experience the grace of an infinite God, but grace is not infinite. God sets limits to his patience and forbearance. He warns us over and over again that someday the ax will fall and His judgment will be poured out.
Since it is our tendency to take grace for granted, my guess is that God found it necessary from time to time to remind Israel that grace must never be assumed. On rare but dramatic occasions He showed the dreadful power of His justice. He killed Nadab and Abihu. He killed Uzzah. He commanded the slaughter of the Canaanites. It is as if He were saying, “Be careful. While you enjoy the benefits of my grace, don’t forget my justice. Don’t forget the gravity of sin. Remember that I am holy.”
We hear all the time about God’s infinite grace and mercy. I cringe when I hear it. God’s mercy is infinite insofar as it is mercy bestowed upon us by a Being who is infinite, but when the term infinite is used to describe his mercy rather than his person, I have problems with it because the Bible makes very clear that there is a limit to God’s mercy. There is a limit to his grace, and he is determined not to pour out his mercy on impenitent people forever. There is a time, as the Old Testament repeatedly reports, particularly in the book of the prophet Jeremiah, that God stops being gracious with people, and he gives them over to their sin.”
Those believers – and especially their leaders – who are now shaking their fists at God concerning his intentions for human sexuality, marriage and family had better carefully reconsider. This blatant unbelief and rebellion will not be allowed to continue forever.
The best thing these apostates and false shepherds can do – indeed, the only thing they can do – is to get on their faces before Almighty God, repent, and ask for his mercy before it is too late.
Anyone who thinks Paula White is a Christian does not understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ nor do they grasp what the Christian faith is all about. We say this because Pastrix Paula holds to the heretical Word of Faith prosperity gospel which saves no one. What President Trump seems not to realize is that his spiritual adviser, close friend and confidant is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, as this piece over at The Intellectualist makes clear:
Tump’s primary spiritual adviser, Paula White, claims that in return for $1,144 she will use her best efforts to ensure spiritual deliverance.
According to the Christian Post [a site CRN does not endorse]:
Ms. White is in many ways, an example of the “prosperity gospel“, a movement that claims God, through Jesus Christ, shows divine favor on some by blessing them with wealth.
It is unclear how Mr. Trump and Ms. White initially met one another, but the President relies on her to organize his meetings with other evangelical leaders according to fellow evangelical Jim Bakker.
In an essay titled, “How Paula White, Donald Trump’s Spiritual Adviser, Harms Christians of Color,” Writer Nicola A. Menzie, a critic of Ms. White’s practices says the following:
42:1 Our inner longing for fellowship with God can be compared to the vehement craving of the deer as it wanders through the parched countryside, its sides throbbing and its breathing quickened as it longs for the brooks. Gamaliel Bradford transferred the picture to himself when he said:
My one unchanged ambition
Wheresoe’er my feet have trod
Is a keen, enormous, haunting,
Never-sated thirst for God.
42:1 As the deer pants … my soul pants. On this simile from nature, cf. Joel 1:20. In the psalmist’s estimation, he is facing a severe divine drought.
42:1 As a deer longs for streams of water The psalmist’s desperation for God’s sustaining presence is like a thirst for water.
42:1 As a deer pants for flowing streams. A powerful description of deep desire for God’s presence.
 MacDonald, W. (1995). Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments. (A. Farstad, Ed.) (p. 615). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.
 MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (2006). The MacArthur study Bible: New American Standard Bible. (Ps 42:1). Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers.
 Barry, J. D., Mangum, D., Brown, D. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Ritzema, E., … Bomar, D. (2012, 2016). Faithlife Study Bible (Ps 42:1). Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.
 Sproul, R. C. (Ed.). (2005). The Reformation Study Bible: English Standard Version (p. 773). Orlando, FL; Lake Mary, FL: Ligonier Ministries.