LAWRENCE, KS—Every Sunday morning, local husband and father Jake Merritt gets ready for church in just under a half hour. Totally ready to go and all dressed up, Merritt is able to spend the rest of the time catching up on the week’s sports news on ESPN.
What the man can’t figure out is why his wife takes almost two hours to get herself and their three kids up, dressed, and fed before church as he lounges about waiting for everyone to be all ready to go.
“Honey, hurry it up, we’re gonna be late!” he called out this past Sunday as he made a few last-minute adjustments to his fantasy football team. “I’ve been ready for an hour. What’s the big holdup?” He shook his head disapprovingly and checked his watch. “Not sure what’s taking so long!”
“Can we move things along, babe? We’re gonna miss out on all the good parking spots!” he called out a few minutes later as his wife served their children a full breakfast.
The man spoke to reporters as he waited in the van a few minutes later, honking the horn periodically. “It’s important to be up and ready for church early so you can enjoy the beginning of your Lord’s Day. I just don’t know why the woman takes so much time getting herself, Xander, Aiden, and Brooke ready and in the car.”
“It’s not like there’s anything I can do about it,” he added, shrugging, as he gave the horn one long blast.