Ellen Outed As Conservative After She Treats Others With Respect — The Babylon Bee

DALLAS, TX—Ellen DeGeneres has been forced to come out of the closet as a conservative after she was spotted treating a political foe with respect.

Friends and family members have suspected she was a closeted conservative for years.

“She was always, like, smiling and talking with other people, even people she disagreed with,” said a tearful Portia de Rossi. “I thought maybe she was just experimenting, but a full-blown conservative—I never feared it was this bad.” De Rossi said that she’s caught DeGeneres hiding in their giant walk-in closet listening to Ben Shapiro’s podcast.

“I assumed she was just trying to find his weakness so she could punch him one day. I never in my wildest dreams thought she’d been turned.”

DeGeneres came out to her fans in a special episode of her show yesterday.

“This is who I am,” she said. “I’m a conservative, and I’m loud and proud. I can’t hide my identity any longer. I have to be true to myself.”

Audience members threw non-GMO tomatoes at her and she was forced to flee the set. She has been replaced with a more appropriate liberal spokesperson, Alyssa Milano, who will bring a different conservative on the show each week and punch them.

via Ellen Outed As Conservative After She Treats Others With Respect — The Babylon Bee

1 thought on “Ellen Outed As Conservative After She Treats Others With Respect — The Babylon Bee

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.