WASHINGTON, D.C.—The media is praising Biden’s great idea for vaccine passports as “much-needed positive reinforcement” to encourage people to get vaccinated. There are some, however, who believe that some stronger negative reinforcement is needed for people who refuse the vaccine. To address this, the administration is also proposing some kind of mark or patch to identify the unvaccinated.
“Listen folks, here’s the deal…” said Biden before losing his thought and falling asleep.
Vice President Harris took over. “We need to make all the unvaccinated peasants wear big yellow patches so everyone will know they’re one of the undesirables,” she said. “We will make them second-class citizens, and thoroughly shame them until their spirits are completely broken! HAHAHAHA HE HE HE HE!”
Dr, Fauci weighed in, saying patches are a “good idea,” and that maybe 4 or 5 patches would be even better. “If you have 4 or 5 patches, it will make your icky unvaccinated self more visible to passers-by. That’s according to all the latest science that I just did in my head just now.”
The Biden administration assured the public this idea has absolutely no downsides they can think of. In a statement to the press, they said: “There’s literally zero chance this can lead to anything bad down the road.”