HOLLYWOOD, CA—In the wake of the recent Harvey Weinstein scandal sending shockwaves through Hollywood, the nation’s elite members of the entertainment industry have expressed their puzzlement at the fact that the country has fallen so far in morality and ethics, when the very same people have created and promoted entertainment that celebrates moral bankruptcy, sources […]
NEW YORK, NY—In a move designed to finally give an on-air voice to the nation’s conservative Christians, producers of popular morning talk show The View confirmed Monday the addition of preacher and author John MacArthur to the show. In internal test footage, MacArthur reportedly held his own against the flurry of conversation coming from the […]
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HOUSTON, TX—Pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church is a bestselling author, motivational speaker, and preacher—and now, he’s also the head of a profitable pastoral fashion line: “Sheep’s Clothing by Joel Osteen.” The line of suits, pants, shirts, ties, and dress shoes is designed to distract from a pastor’s empty theology and dangerous heresies by disguising […]
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U.S.—The back pew at church was voted the best seat in the house among churchgoers for the 58th year running, sources at LifeWay Research confirmed Tuesday. Regular church attendees were polled on their preferences for a place to sit during a service, with options ranging from the various pews in the sanctuary and the overflow […]
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SEATTLE, WA—After reading several chapters from the gospels over the weekend, local progressive believer Wendy Butler reportedly published a Patheos blog post in which she criticized Jesus of Nazareth for “not being very Christlike.” The blog post took Jesus to task for His “unloving and problematic” teachings. “He devotes entire sections of His sermons to […]
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CHARLOTTE, NC—A middle-aged homeless man who attempted to sit in the front row at Elevation Church’s Sunday service was quickly whisked away by security in order to ensure he would not be seen on the church’s social media videos and bring shame and embarrassment upon the ministry, several witnesses confirmed. The man had reportedly come […]
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CHARLOTTE, NC—According to reports from within the church, Southpoint Baptist of Charlotte plans to include a revolutionary women’s Bible study class in their fall curriculum that will study an actual book of the Bible, bucking the deeply ingrained tradition of using women’s Bible studies to collectively read through a modern book on Christian living. A […]
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CUPERTINO, CA—The new Apple iPhone will now include a “panic button” that will allow Christians to quickly switch from Facebook, other social media, or video games over to the Bible app for whenever they get caught messing around on their phone in church, Apple announced Tuesday. The feature can be added on for just $299 […]
HOUSTON, TX—After enduring criticism for what some felt was a poor response to the Hurricane Harvey crisis on the part of Lakewood Church, Pastor Joel Osteen proudly stood in front of his congregation Sunday morning and reassured his church members that he would continue to preach the false prosperity gospel, even in the face of […]
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U.S.—In an effort to make sure the public is educated about the drastic effects the Word of God may have upon its readers, the FDA has announced that beginning next year, all new Bibles sold in America must be stamped with a warning from the Surgeon General which notifies them that “Bible Reading Can Cause […]
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U.S.—After numerous prominent Christians and everyday believers alike signed the Nashville Statement affirming basic Christian doctrine held with rare exception for 2,000 years, progressives across the nation flooded the internet in droves to voice their horror and disgust at the shocking set of beliefs. “I can’t believe these people would just come out and blatantly […]
. . . finish reading Progressives Appalled As Christians Affirm Doctrine Held Unanimously For 2,000 Years.
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