“Fighting for Holiness Harder Than I Hid My Sin”
IMPLEMENT the new structure pervasively with humility and flexibility.
“Plans are easier than life. Plans exist outside my sinful heart and broken world. Trying to live out my plan has taught me more about my self, my sin, and my Savior. As I have had victory, the old expressions of lust/escape have taken new forms. I have had to remember that my plans are merely how I intend to rely on God and not, themselves, my deliverer. Here are the unexpected challenges I faced [list], how I failed [list], where I succeeded [list], what I learned [list], and how God was faithful [list]. I now see that [list] is really the most important part of my plan.”
Memorize: Romans 6:12-13 (ESV), “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments of righteousness.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:
- “Let not” – Overcoming sexual sin requires persistent willfulness that continually opposes new forms of temptation.
- “Reign” – You must remember that sin’s desire is to rule (Gen. 4:7). Its initial returns will seem innocent. Beware!
- “Obey its passions” – In God’s design for life your passions/desires are made to obey you as you seek to honor Him.
- “Members… yourselves” – Sin compartmentalizes and divides life. God wants your whole life to be whole and holy.
- “As those” – Remember you fight as one who has already been brought back from the death of sin to life in Christ.
“Chaos occurs when we become willing to change and make real efforts to do so. Since this is new ground, we don’t know how to act or what to do. The old behaviors are gone, but we haven’t learned new ones yet. Chaos is confusing, frightening, and painful (p. 133).” Mark Laaser in Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction
“Going in the right direction in your struggle with sexual addiction means learning to fight your temptation to sin, learning to handle your guilt when you fail, and learning to understand and deal with the circumstances in which you are tempted (p. 8).” David Powlison in Sexual Addiction
“As most adults have learned the hard way, reality is rarely as wonderful as fantasy. Many people create expectations for sex that reality cannot meet. I dare say that rarely has a teenage boy created a fantasy in which his partner rebuffs his advances because she is too tired (p. 40).” Tim Challies in Sexual Detox
“When things get tough at home, and they most certainly will, Satan will be right there to tempt you to run back to the partner. Rejection of these desires is imperative and will be a vital part of your recovery. Denial that these desires exist will only increase your vulnerability and risk. Be honest with yourself and with God. Recognize that the source of these desires is based on a lie. And the relationship you’d be running to is based in fantasy. Focus on the commitment you’ve made that is based on truth (p. 51).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful
“Paint yourself into a corner by telling others of your plans for change (p. 340).” Doug Rosenau in A Celebration of Sex
“Porn is a sin of imagination. We need to counter it by enlarging our imaginations. The answer to porn is to believe the truth. But that’s so much more than an intellectual process. We need to let the truth capture our imaginations: to meditate, ponder, wonder at, and sing the truth. We need to feel the truth, glory in the truth, delight in the truth (p. 64).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window