On the weekend of May 2-3, 2015 our pastor, J.D. Greear, delivered an excellent message on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Doubtless, this message raised many questions for members of our congregation. We wanted to make you aware of resources that are available to you as you seek live out the implications of this message in our own life.
For the various counseling options available from this material visit http://www.summitrdu.com/counseling.
We will divide the resources listed below into three categories:
- Marital Enrichment: These are resources for couples whose relationship is functioning relatively well but want to enhance their marriage so that is does not casually drift into disrepair. These resources are intended marital enhancement and for mild to moderate marital struggles.
- Marital Restoration: These are resources for couples who relationship is facing significant challenges due to major forms of dishonor within the marriage. These resources are intended for moderate to severe marital struggles.
- Divorce or Widow Recovery: These are resources for spouse’s who are grieving the loss of their marriage to death or divorce.
Marriage Enrichment
The five seminars linked below are from Summit’s “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage” seminar series. Dates for live presentations of these events can always be found at bradhambrick.com/events.
After each listing is a series of questions is provided to let you know what is addressed in that seminar.
Foundations
Why is marriage hard? Why do so many marriages that begin in sincere love end in divorce? What are the essential things a couple should focus on in order to have a marriage that flourishes? What is a covenant, and why is marriage a covenant? Why do we have a marriage ceremony? What are the roles for a Christian husband and wife? What if I don’t “fit” the masculine-feminine stereotypes or don’t have the personality to match a “traditional” husband/wife?
Listening Guide: GCM_Foundations_ListeningGuide_3.1
Communication
What does a couple talk about over a life time? What if I’m not good with words or listening? How do we maintain friendship when we’re having to keep up with so many logistics? How do we disagree and protect our marriage without losing what’s important to each of us individually? Why do words matter so much, and why can they hurt so badly? How do we make things right after they go wrong and not let negative momentum build?
Listening Guide: GCM_Communication_Listening Guide_3.1
Finances
Why are money problems the number one cause of divorce? How do we maintain reasonable expectations for money in a debt-sick culture? How do two people manage their money together when it is hard enough to manage as a single person? Who should administrate the finances, and how involved should the other person be? How do we learn self-control and contentment as a couple? How can “budget” become an exciting or, at least, pleasant word?
Listening Guide: GCM_Finances_Listening Guide_2.0
Decision Making
How do we manage our time? How do we navigate situations where we each want good things that cannot both happen? How do we determine God’s will for our personal and marital lives? How do we functionally express the biblical roles of headship and submission? How do we ensure that life’s tough decisions draw us closer to God and each other instead of creating distance? How do we respond when bad things happen to a good marriage?
Listening Guide: GCM_Decision Making_Listening Guide_2.0
Intimacy
How do you maintain the “spark” of marriage over a lifetime? How do you continue learning each other without feeling like you know all there is to know? How do we protect our expectations from highly romanticized cultural ideals? How many ways are there to express love, and why are they all necessary? How do we enjoy a balance of both intimacy and intercourse? How do we grow as lovers throughout our marriage?
Listening Guide: GCM_Intimacy_Listening Guide_3.1
Marriage Restoration
True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin
“True Betrayal” contains three hours of presentation divided into a nine step model of responding to the suffering created by a spouse’s sexual sin. Practical guidance is provided for this difficult and often isolating journey. This seminar is most effective when studies with a friend, counselor, or small group.
Listening Guide: True Betrayal Listening Guide
False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery
“False Love” contains three hours of presentation divided into a nine step model of overcoming sexual sin. Sexual sin is examined from private lust, pornography, emotional affairs, to adultery in marriage. This seminar is most effective when studies with a friend, counselor, or small group.
Listening Guide: False Love Listening Guide
Supplemental Blog: How to End and Extra-Marital Relationship
Supplemental Blog: How to Talk to Children When Sexual Sin Effects the Family
Self-Centered Spouse
We are all married to a self-centered spouse. That is what it means for us to be fallen people who are bound to experience life from within our bodies. But there are cases where this “general self-centeredness” becomes chronic — severe to a point that it either results in a marital environment of abuse or neglect.
Scripture speaks to both “garden variety” marriage struggles and chronic self-centered marriage struggles, but it speaks to these varying degrees of struggles in different ways. This is no different from saying that Scripture speaks to both impulse control and addiction, but speaks to them differently.
However, Christians have not always done a good job of assessing the differences in these marriage situations and defining the approaches that need to be taken. Working from Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:1-6 (utilizing his instruction in verse 6 as applying to cases of chronic relational offense) we will examine the subject of “Marriage with a Chronically Self-Centered Spouse” in 17 posts cataloged in the link above.
A refined, published form of this material in available in booklet form at amazon and Summit Next Step areas at each campus.
Divorce or Widow Recovery
Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope
This seminar contains three hours of presentation divided into a nine step model of facing the suffering of a major loss. This seminar is meant to help you process the death of a loved one, miscarriage, or losses not often associated with grief (health, job, stability, divorce, or a dream). This seminar is most effective when studies with a friend, counselor, or small group.
Listening Guide: Journey of Grief_Listening Guide_2.0
DivorceCare
Church Initiative provides many excellent curriculum to help church members care well for one another. I have had the privilege of being a part of their DivorceCare and GriefShare curriculums. The link above provides access for you to find a group near you.
For the various counseling options available from this material visit http://www.summitrdu.com/counseling.
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