Tag Archives: autism

James Lyons-Weiler: RFK Jr. Gave Ed Martin a List of 28 Scientific Studies that Defrauded the American Public – The Scientific Journals Have Been Put on Notice | The Gateway Pundit

Two men discussing on a podcast set, featuring microphones and various decorations, emphasizing social media engagement for the show "War Room."
Steve Bannon interviews James Lyons-Weiler on The War Room.

On Wednesday morning James Lyons-Weiler joined Steve Bannon on The War Room to discuss the “weaponization of science” and its destructive effects on the American people.

James Lyons-Weiler is an American scientist and activist who operates the non-profit organization Institute for Pure and Applied Knoledge. Lyons-Weiler holds a PhD in ecology and evolutionary biology.

Lyons-Weiler explained the epidemic of fraud in today’s scientific community.

James Lyons-Weilor: I know for a fact that if there’s a narrative that the former CDC or NIAID with Anthony Fauci had to have for public health. If you’re at a university and you actually went against the green, your university got a call and all of your NIH funding was threatened over, let’s say, HPV vaccine safety or MMR vaccine safety… There’s a mix of fraud in weaponized science and then use of science in a way that is just fooling the public, right?

Steve Bannon: Can you give me a specific example of either fraud or weaponization in this regards?

James Lyons-Weilor: Yeah, absolutely. So when the CDC whistleblower, who I’m sure you’ve heard about, William Thompson came out. He told Brian Hooker that a study that was published in 2004 by Frank DeStefano and a lot of people at the CDC actually buried data so the institutes of medicine could look at it, that the MMR vaccine did indeed seem to contribute to an increased risk of autism in African-American boys. And they manipulated the study by dropping everybody from the study that didn’t have a Georgia birth certificate just to reduce the sample size, which is the number of people in the study. So the statistics couldn’t pick it up. And that’s fraud. So the demarcation between science and fraud is something that’s been going on for decades, over 100 years…

…Coleen Boyle, Frank DeStefano, others. They were absolutely hired to go to work at CDC because they knew how to fix the science, the data, the fraud.

Lyons-Weilor says we are likely going to see prosecutions over the science fraud.

James Lyons-Weilor: I think that we’re going to probably see some prosecutions on the basis of defrauding the federal government. If I’m funded by the federal government to do science, to do research, and I falsify the data, I can be fined personally, and I can be banned from doing research for 10 years…

…Ed Martin. He was at the Association of Physicians and Surgeons meeting last month. I was there Yes. And he made an announcement that Mr. Kennedy, Secretary Kennedy, gave him a list of 28 studies with the journals and layperson’s summaries that actually they were wrongfully retracted and that those journals have been put on notice by the attorney general’s office. And I was asked by Secretary Kennedy to put that list together for him.

Lyons Weilor ended the interview suggesting that there is a government investigation into the individuals who scammed the American public and lied to them about the dangers of particular vaccines.

These deceitful officials may finally face justice for the dangerous policies they pushed on the American public.

Via The War Room:

The post James Lyons-Weiler: RFK Jr. Gave Ed Martin a List of 28 Scientific Studies that Defrauded the American Public – The Scientific Journals Have Been Put on Notice appeared first on The Gateway Pundit.

Buried Vax vs. Unvax Study Finally Sees the Light of Day and the Results are Staggering! | The Gateway Pundit

This article originally appeared on vigilantfox.com and was republished with permission.

In 2016, Dr. Marcus Zervos agreed to the unthinkable: test the vaccinated against the unvaccinated.

Convinced it would prove vaccines safe, he vowed to publish the results no matter what.

Those results never saw the light of day—until now.

Here’s what the buried study revealed.

Meet Dr. Marcus Zervos, head of infectious disease at Henry Ford Health in Detroit. He’s as pro-vaccine as they come.

In 2016, he crossed paths with health freedom journalist Del Bigtree, who urged him to take on something public health had avoided for decades: a study comparing the health outcomes of vaccinated and unvaccinated children.

Dr. Zervos agreed to run the study, determined to prove Bigtree and other vaccine skeptics wrong. At the time, he vowed, “Whatever the results, they get published.”

In early 2020, Bigtree and team received a copy of the study. It was a retrospective vaccinated vs. unvaccinated comparison, examining the long-term health outcomes of 18,468 subjects.

Its title was “Impact of Childhood Vaccination on Short and Long-Term Chronic Health Outcomes in Children: A Birth Cohort Study.”

Here’s what the results revealed:

Vaccinated children were over four times more likely to have an asthma diagnosis than the unvaccinated.

They also had a sixfold increase in acute and chronic ear infections.

Speech disorders were 4.47 times higher in the vaccinated group compared to the unvaccinated.

Meanwhile, the unvaccinated cohort showed zero cases of brain dysfunction, diabetes, learning disabilities, intellectual disabilities, tics, or other psychological disorders.

“This is devastating.”

Attorney Aaron Siri of ICAN (Informed Consent Action Network) notes that this study should have been “rushed to publication on an emergency basis.”

But that didn’t happen.

Why? Because publishing this would have ruined Zervos’ career.

As Siri testified at a Senate vaccine hearing on Tuesday, the overall findings showed that “after 10 years, 17% of unvaccinated children had a chronic health issue, while 57% of vaccinated children had at least one.”

That’s a more than threefold increase in the risk of chronic health conditions among the vaccinated.

“The only real problem with this study,” Siri stated, “is that its findings did not fit the belief and policy that vaccines are safe. Had it found vaccinated children were healthier, it no doubt would have been published immediately. But because it found the opposite, it was shoved in a drawer.

Huge credit goes to Del Bigtree, The Highwire, Attorney Aaron Siri, and others for 1) convincing Dr. Zervos to conduct this study and 2) bringing it to light.

The full documentary, titled An Inconvenient Study, is slated for release on October 3.

Until then, you can read Siri’s full testimony about this buried study and more here.

Find more stories like this at VigilantFox.com

The post Buried Vax vs. Unvax Study Finally Sees the Light of Day and the Results are Staggering! appeared first on The Gateway Pundit.

What Carl Trueman Can Teach Us About The Epidemic of Self-Diagnosis | The Log College

by Matt McRaney; BIBLICAL COUNSELING COALITION

Over the years, self-diagnosis has become a persistent problem for counselors and caregivers. Someone will confidently explain their condition, but after a few probing questions and a basic familiarity with the diagnostic criteria, it becomes clear that they were not diagnosed by a professional. In many cases, this self-diagnosis becomes their identity, driving their actions and interpersonal relationships. It’s easy to see how this is possible, with social media influencers and internet articles that promote various conditions, and the incessant drug commercials on TV. However, in reading several of Carl Trueman’s recent works, I’m convinced there’s something deeper going on; something that cuts to the heart of our identity.

The Modern Self and a Redefinition of Personhood

Carl Trueman has written extensively over the last decade about the redefinition of personhood and the modern self. He contends the idea that someone could be a woman trapped in a man’s body does not just appear out of thin air. Instead, it results from a series of ideas and movements over several centuries that converge in this new understanding of what it is to be human. He makes the point in The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self that we live in a world that increasingly rejects the objective for the subjective, where reality can be conformed to our own imaginations.[1] He  observes, “Self-creation is a routine part of our modern social imaginary.”[2] For someone to be a man trapped in a woman’s body, society must prioritize one’s ideas about oneself over the physical reality.[3]

Much of the redefinition relies on critical theory. Critical theory is an umbrella term that, at its heart, deconstructs objective reality. Developed through various schools of thought and relayed downstream to culture through art, movies, and television, critical theory has shaped the way modern people see themselves and the world around them. It contends that human nature is not stable or rooted in the image of God, but instead is dependent on culture.[4] Critical theory doesn’t just reject the objective reality of God and religion. It also rejects the existence of objective observations and diagnoses of the scientific and medical communities.[5] It’s not uncommon to hear people today ask in protest, “Who is that doctor to say I don’t have …?!” Any semblance of authority or objective reality is rejected in favor of one’s self assertion.

Critical Theory and Self-Diagnosis

While Carl Trueman’s work seeks to explain the rise of sexual revolutionary ideas such as the transgender phenomenon, I believe it can also be helpful for counselors navigating the treacherous waters of self-diagnosis. If self-diagnosis were just the result of misinformation from pharmaceutical commercials (seriously, why do these people always look so happy?!) or television depictions, it would be relatively easy to correct someone’s understanding by presenting the facts. But when a self-diagnosed individual has constructed their identity around a condition, mere facts usually won’t break them loose. It is a critical theory assumption about the very nature of truth that has taken hold.

Self-diagnosis can cause serious harm. Take, for instance, the massive number of self-diagnosed autistic individuals driving the conversation on autism. A recent study of social media usage of the hashtag #autism revealed that only 27% of the observed videos contained accurate information.[6] Much of this inaccurate information is driven by people who claim to be autistic with no diagnosis of autism, who release cringeworthy TikTok videos claiming to speak for the autism community. This has led to significant turmoil among individuals with autism and caregivers about the best practices of care for those on the more severe end of the spectrum. It has also led to a massive misunderstanding of what autism actually is.[7] These self-diagnosed autistic individuals rely on critical theory arguments similar to those in the transgender debate to maintain their claims.

But arguing against critical theory can often be a fruitless endeavor due to the circular nature of the arguments. Trueman observes that the most powerful counter to critical theory is not an argument, but a way of life.[8] Christianity offers a better answer to the ills of this world than a deconstruction of objective truth. Indeed, truth is the basis of our understanding of the world. And that truth is a sure ground that will not slip under our feet, as critical theories and self-diagnoses surely will. In Exodus 4:10, Moses seeks to evade God’s calling by proclaiming his own inadequacies. But God rejects Moses’ self-diagnosis, insisting, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?” (Exod. 4:11). God declares His own lordship over the human condition. This is a far cry from the spirit of the age, but it is a much more solid place to stand.

We must help people to see a better alternative in the counseling room and the church than what they declare about themselves. God ultimately determines our abilities and our disabilities. He determines our afflictions and provides the grace to suffer well through them. We need to help people see no need for an identity other than that which can be found in Christ.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How do I respond when someone is confident about their self-diagnosis?
  2. What function is a self-diagnosis filling in this person’s life?
  3. How can I gently present a better identity in Christ to a person who’s self-diagnosed?

[1] Carl R. Trueman, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020), 41.

[2] Ibid., 42.

[3] Ibid., 351.

[4] Carl R. Trueman, To Change All Worlds: Critical Theory from Marx to Marcuse(Brentwood, TN: B&H Academic, 2024), 5.

[5] Ibid., 62.

[6] Castle G Aragon-Guevara D, Sheridan E, Vivanti G., “The Reach and Accuracy of Information on Autism on Tiktok,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders  (2023).

[7] For more on what is and is not autism, and what should be the church’s response, see Matthew McCraney, “Faith on the Spectrum: Reimagining Discipleship Expectations for Children with Autism,” D6 Family Ministry Journal 7 (2025), https://store.randallhouse.com/product/faith-on-the-spectrum-reimagining-discipleship-expectations-for-children-with-autism/.

[8] Trueman, 77.

About the Author

Matt McCraney

Matt McCraney is an Army Chaplain and father of a disabled child. He has a PhD from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and a DMin from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has been married to Sarah for 21 years, and they have four children.

RFK Jr. Blasts ‘Corrupt and Broken’ Vaccine Court System — Vows to Overhaul VICP and End HHS Cover-Ups for Big Pharma | The Gateway Pundit

U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. took a blowtorch to the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP)—commonly known as the Vaccine Court— calling it a corrupt and broken system that has abandoned vaccine-injured children and now functions as a shield for Big Pharma’s profits and government malfeasance.

The U.S. government gave vaccine manufacturers blanket legal immunity—then created a kangaroo court, rigged against parents and children, to supposedly “compensate” the injured. But instead of justice, Kennedy says victims face stonewalling, legal abuse, and a government hellbent on defending its own wallet.

And the numbers back him up.

To date, the Vaccine Court has paid out $5.4 billion to just 12,000 petitioners. But Kennedy notes that thousands more have been dismissed, delayed, or bullied into silence while their children suffer life-altering disabilities.

Parents report cases dragging out for over a decade, while Special Masters—essentially government-appointed judges—slash attorney fees, deny access to crucial vaccine safety data, and retaliate against expert witnesses who dare testify for the injured.

Posting on X, RFK Jr. wrote:

The 1986 Vaccine Act gave vaccine makers immunity against lawsuits by children who suffer vaccine injuries.

The statute, and numerous subsequent court decisions, recognized that vaccines, like all medicines, are, in the words of the American Academy of Pediatrics case, “unavoidably unsafe,” and that a percentage of vaccinated children will suffer injuries or death.

Congress, therefore, simultaneously created the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP), which obliged HHS to compensate injured children.

In the words of then Labor and Public Welfare Committee Chairman Senator Edward Kennedy, “when … children are the victims of an appropriate and rational national policy, a compassionate [g]overnment will assist them in their hour of need.”

Under the VICP, vaccine victims can petition for compensation to the so-called “Vaccine Court,” which pays out awards from a trust fund endowed by a 75-cent surcharge on every vaccine.

Congress intended that injured children be compensated “quickly and fairly” for injuries, “either presumed or proven to be causally connected to vaccines,” with doubts about causation resolved in favor of the victim.

To date, the Vaccine Court has paid out $5.4 billion to 12,000 petitioners. But the VICP no longer functions to achieve its Congressional intent.

Instead, the VICP has devolved into a morass of inefficiency, favoritism, and outright corruption as government lawyers and the Special Masters who serve as Vaccine Court judges prioritize the solvency of the HHS Trust Fund, over their duty to compensate victims.

The structure itself hobbles claimants. The defendant is HHS, not the vaccine makers; and claimants are therefore facing the monumental power and bottomless pockets of the U.S. government represented by the Department of Justice.

Furthermore, most of the Special Masters come from government, legal, or political posts, and typically display an extreme bias that favors the government side. There is no discovery, and the rules of evidence do not apply.

The government lawyers do not allow children’s attorneys access to the Vaccine Safety Datalink, a taxpayer-funded CDC surveillance system that houses the best data on vaccine injuries.

Attorney compensation is in the hands of notoriously biased Special Masters and often hostile government attorneys, who can leverage this power to turn petitioner attorneys against their clients’ interests.

The VICP routinely dismisses meritorious cases outright or drags them out for years. Instead of “quickly and fairly” awarding compensation, Special Masters dismiss over half of the cases.

Most of those that proceed typically take 5+ years to resolve, with many languishing for more than 10 years as parents struggle to care for children suffering with often extreme disabilities.

Petitioners’ attorneys complain that the Special Masters make punitive downward adjustments to attorneys’ fees and medical expert fees to punish effective advocacy.

Expert witnesses for injured children complain that they suffer intimidation and even threats that they will lose professional status or NIH funding if they testify for injured children.

The government pays its own medical expert witnesses promptly while simultaneously slow-walking payments for petitioners’ experts—sometimes for years.

The VICP is broken, and I intend to fix it. I will not allow the VICP to continue to ignore its mandate and fail its mission of quickly and fairly compensating vaccine-injured individuals.

I am grateful to be working with @AGPamBondi and HHS staff to fix the VISP.

Together, we will steer the Vaccine Court back to its original Congressional intent.

The post RFK Jr. Blasts ‘Corrupt and Broken’ Vaccine Court System — Vows to Overhaul VICP and End HHS Cover-Ups for Big Pharma appeared first on The Gateway Pundit.

Three Things the Left Lied About—July 5, 2025 | IFA

G.K. Chesterton once said, “A fallacy doesn’t cease to be a fallacy because it becomes a fashion.” These days the Left fabricates lies and turns them into a grand catwalk of deception. While it’s true that trends and lies may linger for a while, eventually the truth drives them out of fashion.

Pray for your fellow intercessor.

 

The first lie told by the Left this week involves a fallacy that flies in the face of biological reality. It’s a scientific fact that a man cannot become a woman and a woman cannot become a man. But this doesn’t matter to the Left because they are not interested in truth or reality.

What is a Woman?

Recently Texas Governor Greg Abbott (R) signed the What is A Woman bill into state law (HB 229), which defines what it means to be a man or a woman. The law “strictly defines what a man and woman is according to their biological birth.” Moreover, the law requires that all Texas residents “be defined in state records by the sex they were assigned at birth.”

The Left sees this law as “an attack on trans, non-binary, and intersex Texans.” Brad Pritchett, interim CEO of Equality Texas, says, “Governor Abbot has had many opportunities to stand up for all Texans, and has continued to turn his back on Texans that he just doesn’t like…this is an escalating attack that is designed to prevent trans, non-binary, and intersex Texans from being able to participate in public life.”

Women Must Be Protected

It goes without saying that fallacies and lies should not be protected. Mary Elizabeth Castle, Director of Government Relations with Texas Values, helped design the bill and stresses that, “This is a very important law because it makes sure that women’s opportunities in education, private spaces, sports–they’re protected because woman is clearly defined in law. It’s very important to protect those opportunities so women can excel, but also feel safe as well.”

Regardless of reality or facts, the Left insists, “We are not giving up. We’re going to continue to do that work, and we will find ways to uplift the community despite these bills.”

The Left lives under the illusion that affirming irrational beliefs is an “uplifting” action. In reality, the best way to uplift someone is to present them with the truth. This is what raises them out of the pit, setting them free from the bondage of deception.

Mercury and Flu Shots

Another lie told by the Left this week involves a decision made by the new CDC Vaccine Advisory Committee which voted to no longer recommend flu vaccines that contain thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative linked to neurodevelopmental disorders. Though thimerosal has been banned in all over-the-counter products since 1998, it still remains in some vaccines. Award-winning journalist Sharyl Attkisson’s special investigation into the subject earlier this year brought this once untouchable topic out into the open, exposing the deceptions of the pharmaceutical industries and government agencies.

Lyn Redwood RN, MSN, a nurse practitioner with experience in pediatrics and family medicine, presented information to the voting committee which showed that mercury (thimerosal) “is a cumulative issue” because it builds up in the body over time. Classified as a neurotoxin, its harmful effects have been documented in thousands of publications and medical journals which illustrate it can cause damage to the brain and nervous system. Research also confirms that ethylmercury from thimerosal is not rapidly cleared from the body as once claimed. Currently there are zero long-term, placebo-controlled studies that prove thimerosal is safe.

The Left is not happy with the decision and media outlets like the Guardian insist that the preservative has been deemed safe without citing a single peer-reviewed study. They also incorrectly inform the public that “thimerosal has been removed from all routine childhood vaccines.” Of course, it’s important to note that the Guardian is supported by donations from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Kennedy Sets the Record Straight

HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. responded with a long, but well-cited rebuttal to the Guardian’s claims. One part of his response explained, “This is another tread-worn lie of the vaccine industry. There are high bolus doses of mercury in flu shots, which the CDC recommends to pregnant women in any trimester of pregnancy and as a routine vaccine for children at six months and in every year of life. Between conception and age 18, a compliant American child today could get a cumulative load of as much as 500 mcg of ethylmercury from multidose flu shots–nearly double of what they were once getting from all the childhood vaccines put together.”

Kennedy added that “the amount of ethylmercury in a flu shot is 25,000 times EPA’s safety level for drinking water. Federal and state laws provide that whenever expired thimerosal vaccines are disposed of, they constitute a hazardous waste.” To drive the point home, Kennedy cited Dr. William Slikker Jr., former head of the FDA’s National Center for Toxicological Research, whose 2000 Neurotoxicology study aligned with the results of another 2005 NIH-funded study that demonstrated “thimerosal crosses the blood-brain and placental barriers and results in appreciable mercury content in the tissues including brain.”

The Left-leaning New York Times couldn’t care less about the clear-cut evidence. Instead, their latest headline readsWith Flu Shot Vote, Kennedy’s Vaccine Skepticism Comes Full Circle.

Big Pharma and Big Media want fallacies about vaccines to be repeated over and over without any debate or evidence to back them up. But the truth has come full circle, and they must face it whether they like it or not.

Punk Band Shouts “Death to the IDF”

The third lie told by the Left this week involves a British rap punk band that led death chants at their recent concert in the United Kingdom. In a hate-filled tirade, Rapper Bobby Vylan shouted “Death, death to the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces)” to screaming fans who repeated his words in lockstep fashion. Performing in front of a screen that displayed a message which read, “United Nations have called it genocide. The BBC calls it conflict,” the singer continued to egg on the crowd by yelling “Free, free Palestine.”

The US State Department became aware of the antisemitic stunt and immediately instituted a visa restriction on the members of the group, who planned to go on tour in the United States starting in October. Deputy Secretary of State Christopher Landau responded, “Foreigners who glorify violence and hatred are not welcome visitors to our country.”

Wayward Artist Stands by His Tirade

Rapper Bobby Vylan showed no remorse for his actions. In a post he captioned, “I said what I said. Teaching our children to speak up for the change they want and need is the only way that we make this world a better place. As we grow older and our fire possibly starts to dim under the suffocation of adult life and all its responsibilities, it is incredibly important that we inspire future generations to pick up the torch that was passed to us.”

Melanie Phillips, a British journalist and broadcaster, writes “The BBC is a principal engine of incitement to hatred of Israel. It embodies a hermetically sealed thought system in the cult of progressivism and, like the university humanities departments that closed the minds of its staff, it is beyond redemption. As for the Starmer government, this has not only failed to tell people that this whole demonization of Israel is based on distortion and blood libels, but it has actually promoted them itself.”

She adds, “The Glastonbury crowds aren’t chanting ‘Death to the Chinese Communist Party,’ or ‘Death to the Russian forces’ in protest at the persecution of the Uyghurs or the onslaught against Ukraine. They chant for the murder only of those who have been defending their people against genocidal annihilation for the past 20 months.”

The truth is that antisemitism is running rampant all over the world and it’s spreading like an out-of-control fire. Artists and music groups who call for violence against the Jewish people should not be tolerated in any country.

Lord Jesus, it is true that dangerous fallacies are popping up everywhere we turn. Nevertheless, we will not be part of the lies. Instead, we will speak the truth with power and love. Led by Your Holy Spirit, help us counter the lies and protect those who are targeted by them.

These are just a few of the lies told by the Left this week. How are you praying?

Angela Rodriguez is an author, blogger and former teacher who studies the signs of the times, as well as the historical and biblical connections between Israel and the United States. You can visit her blogs at 67owls.com and 100trumpets.com. She is also the author of Psalm 91: Under the Wings of Jesus and Hallelujah’s Great Ride. Photo Credit: Danny Butlin-Policarpo on Unsplash.

Source: Three Things the Left Lied About—July 5, 2025

Every Single Human Behavior Now Classified As Autism Or ADHD | Babylon Bee

U.S. — Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra announced in a press conference Thursday that, going forward, every single human behavior would now be classified as either Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADHD.

“You name it, you got it,” said Becerra. “Laziness? That’s autism. Playing Pickleball? That’s ADHD. Watching people play Pickleball? That’s autism again.”

“Okay but what about cuddling up on the couch with a good book on a rainy day?” asked MSNBC reporter Bob Daniels.

“Are you deaf? That’s autism,” Becerra answered. “Sounds like you might have ADHD if you can’t figure this out.”

A reporter from Fox News then asked about narcissism, but the HHS Secretary confirmed that narcissism is also caused by autism.

The American Psychological Association (APA) issued a statement clarifying how all human behaviors should be classified and then added there was little hope for correcting them.

“We can prescribe amphetamines for anyone suffering from such symptoms of ADHD as playing sports, being late for work, or shooting heroin but, honestly, it’s all kind of hit or miss,” said ADHD expert Dr. Anton Gorley. “We’re really not sure what we’re doing. We probably have ADHD.”

Meanwhile, the leading expert on Autism Spectrum Disorder sort of shrugged. “I can’t do anything about your obsession with Lord of the Rings,” said Dr. Sarah Stephens, herself diagnosed with ADHD for being unable to cure autism.

At publishing time, the APA released information that anyone reading this article had both ADHD and autism, a rare combination.


Check out the new, improved, more inclusive D&D.

Enjoy this inclusive playthrough session!

https://babylonbee.com/news/every-single-human-behavior-now-classified-as-autism-or-adhd/

Entire Entrenched Government Bureaucracy To Be Dismantled By Indian Guy And Autistic African American Obsessed With Rockets | Babylon Bee

Article Image

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Panicked sources within the nation’s capital expressed fear that the entire governmental bureaucracy that had been methodically built up over the last century was about to be dismantled by an Indian guy and an autistic African American obsessed with rockets.

The vast federal mechanisms put in place to make even the simplest and most straightforward tasks take years to accomplish and cost billions of taxpayer dollars now faced elimination at the hands of what federal officials referred to as “two total outsiders with weird names.”

“Who do these guys think they are?” one high-ranking official asked under the condition of anonymity. “We’ve been working hard to make government as bloated and inefficient as possible for decades, and this rocket guy and Indian are going to ruin everything.”

When reached for comment, the autistic African American confirmed the reports. “I like rockets,” he said.

According to government insiders, every three-letter agency in the country had already given its employees orders to barricade themselves in their offices and not give in despite having little hope of resisting the coming purge for any length of time.

“You can bet we’re going to put up a fight,” the anonymous government official continued. “Granted, it will most likely be a very poorly organized and inefficient fight, using hundreds of employees to accomplish very little, but still.”

At publishing time, sources confirmed that the Department of Homeland Security was being replaced by one hot chick with a shotgun.


BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:

Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11

https://babylonbee.com/news/entire-entrenched-government-bureaucracy-to-be-dismantled-by-indian-guy-and-autistic-african-american-obsessed-with-rockets/