Loving Ourselves to Death: Self-Help and New Thought | Key Life

The Fundamental Flaw

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.”[i]

Reading this encouragement from a self-help book about the potential of my mind and positive thinking captivated me. It left me feeling nothing but power. It even included  Scripture references to this “power” within. So I knew it was legit. There was no denying this was God’s will for my life.

I couldn’t put the book down. I never knew that simply changing the way I thought would literally change the circumstances around me. Happiness, greatness, confidence, likability, assertiveness, wealth, romance, a fresh start, a positive perspective—there was a book or conference for that. But it wasn’t just my perspective that would change. No, my thoughts could change my reality. I was magical. There was definitely nothing suspicious about this. What a serotonin rush!

A rush that eventually crashed into this really inconvenient thing called reality.

It didn’t take long to realize that this “powerful thoughts” thing would require doing the work to be better. Eat better, think better, act better.

Just be better.

And this is how it gets you.

The inspiring quote at the beginning of this section is the first words you’ll read in Norman Vincent Peale’s tremendously popular self-help book, The Power of Positive Thinking. It’s one of the most successful self-help books ever sold in American history. It also happens to be one of the most popular New Thought books ever sold in American history.

Peale was a popular New Thought author and minister. His influence is just one of many New Thought sources that have influenced our culture’s views on positive thinking, self-reliance, following your truth, and, well, everything to do with yourself as the answer to your problems.

The theme is still the same: self. You’re the chosen hero. You’re not the problem. You’re the solution. The downsides to this message are many, including the huge barrier it builds to accepting the gospel. And tragically, those who follow the religion of self-improvement ultimately become a slave to its never-ending, works-based demands.

That’s the result of a fundamental flaw in how New Thought depicts humanity. Nearly every false idea today can be traced back to the belief that humanity is fundamentally good.[ii] This creates the illusion of rediscovering something deep within and awakening our divine potential. Some people can’t understand why they’d need a savior. I’m my own savior. I am enough!

New Thought began with healing, but it grew to promote personal prosperity and correct the “lie” that humans were inherently sinful. Humanity didn’t need to be told they were sinners. They needed to know about their goodness and inner divinity, the Christ within, and that they are already whole. They just need to realize it. Supposedly, the lies of the religious fundamentalists had been holding people back. This was nothing but fear-filled religious propaganda, keeping humans from reaching their true potential.

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[i] Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking (New York, Simon and Schuster: 2015), pg 1.

[ii] Natasha Crain, “Nearly every false idea today can be traced back to the belief that man is fundamentally good,” Facebook, April 25, 2023. https://tinyurl.com/ytc4e9wr.

Happy Lies Copyright © 2025 by Melissa Dougherty

Published in Grand Rapids, Michigan, by Zondervan. Zondervan is a registered trademark of The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C., a wholly owned subsidiary of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc.

Listen or Watch our interview with Melissa Dougherty on SBE here!

The post Loving Ourselves to Death: Self-Help and New Thought appeared first on Key Life.

The Problem with the Self-Help Industry

There are two colossal issues with the self-help industry. First, like mentioned above, it places the self at the center of the universe. In order to help self, one must place self first. Second, it only helps at the surface level and doesn’t get down to the most fundamental problem of humans: sin.

Self-help is a massive industry, and understandably so. Dynamic and charismatic speakers like Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, and Simon Sinek are highly influential. Their teachings and opinions have invaded the top charts of books, podcasts, and more.

Why is that? They are meeting a felt need amongst the population. Self-help gurus are incredibly popular because people, to a certain extent, understand they need to have better habits, make better decisions, and change how they think. People do want to improve their lives—there’s no question about that.

But at what cost? At what level? Self-help teachings are only truly helpful to a certain degree. That is because they place the individual at the center of the story. You, according to the self-help industry, are the most important in your world. Be selfish, they say.

I sat through a self-help professional development seminar recently. And don’t get me wrong, a lot of the advice was helpful. So yes, indeed, some of the discussion does help . . . self. But during one part of the seminar, the speaker plainly said to be selfish when it comes to the most important person in your world: you. To be sure, this was in the context of explaining how you can’t take care of your family and others around you if you’re not taking care of yourself. I understand that. But the claim is simply erroneous. The intent is good (I think) but the solution is horrifically incorrect, let alone unbiblical. I can take care of myself as an image bearer of God without being number one in my life.

Kyle Strobel, in a video at TGC, said this regarding the self-help industry:

The second we give ourselves to self-help, we are capitulating to a culture that assumes that self is centered, and now I just give myself to things to better myself, to identify myself. We really need to hear Jesus here, that if you try to save your life, you lose it….If you want to discover yourself, you discover yourself in Christ. You don’t somehow create a self. You don’t establish a self. You discover it in him.

The deepest problem with the self-help industry is it places you, the consumer, at the center. That is simply antithetical to biblical teachings. Where the self-help industry says Think about yourself first, Jesus tells us to Think of others before yourself.

This quote from Mel Robbins is a great example of the nonsense you might read:

You don’t give yourself enough credit, you are a lot stronger than you think.

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January 4 | Putting Off Procrastination

scripture reading:	Ecclesiastes 11:4–6
key verse:	Proverbs 12:24

The hand of the diligent will rule,
But the lazy man will be put to forced labor.

In Gone with the Wind Scarlett O’Hara repeatedly uttered this now celebrated line whenever faced with calamity: “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” How often do we—either intentionally or not—develop the same “tomorrow” outlook? We too easily find ways to put off until tomorrow what we can do today.

A sober look at procrastination’s aftereffects, however, might help us realize its subtle dangers. Procrastination can cause us to miss out on God’s best for our lives. When we fail to confront an issue or a situation, we fail to develop the godly, positive character desired by God. By hesitating, we delay God’s blessings.

Prompt obedience always brings eventual blessings. When you procrastinate, you are dangerously close to disobedience—along with its consequences.

You can learn to face and deal with undesirable circumstances by trusting God to supply what you lack. He will give courage, wisdom, grace, mercy, power—whatever the need.

As you confront your problems rather than avoid them, your faith is nurtured and stretched. Your confidence grows; your fears subside.

Let your motto be: “Do it now as the Lord directs and enables me.” It will save a lot of heartache later.

Father, there may be difficult circumstances ahead during this year, but give me the courage to face them in Your sufficiency. Nurture and stretch my faith. Help me in Your strength and power to deal with issues as they occur.¹

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¹  Stanley, C. F. (1998). Enter His gates: a daily devotional. Thomas Nelson Publishers.

What Is a Christian Mindset?

Jesus spoke about how our mindset is connected to who we are in His Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5–7). He explained, for example, how Old Testament commandments relate to who we are inside. He said that anyone who even looks at a woman with lust commits adultery in his heart (Matt. 5:28). That’s because sin is a question of our mindset—not simply of what we do externally. He summarized by saying, “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (v. 48).

What is a mindset? It’s not a term we use often. The Bible describes Christians as being people who pursue transformation through the renewal of their mind (Rom. 12:2). This means that the position, orientation, or very framework of our mind has shifted—it’s been “set” by the Spirit of God. That doesn’t mean that our mind is static, but the seed of the Word has been permanently planted, and our whole life of faith springs forth from that seed (Rom. 10:17; James 1:21).

It reminds me of playing baseball when I was little. Baseball was the first sport I learned to play. Once I picked up a bat and learned how to throw a ball, I interpreted every other sport I played through the experience of playing baseball. When I played golf, I knew something of how to swing a club. When I played soccer, I knew what it meant to play offense or defense. I brought a baseball mindset to every sport that I played.

In some ways, the term worldview describes what a mindset is, but that term can be misleading. Sometimes people say, “Well, that’s just your view.” What they mean is that our views don’t need to accord with any objective truth. All that exists is power, and whoever can yell the loudest gets to impose his view of the world on others. But that’s a cynical way of viewing the world. It would mean that power is always our sole motivation, and all truth is relative. But that doesn’t make sense. People are often motivated by other things besides power. And, moreover, you can’t claim that all truth is relative, because that’s an objective truth claim. It’s contradictory.

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