What kind of White House transgression merits the punishment of being given the Herculean task of correcting the official transcripts of President Joe Biden’s speech for official release?
Making fun of Kamala’s laugh? Biting Joe’s German shepherd back when it bites you? Heck, if we find out who’s currently editing the transcripts, we can possibly deduce whose bag of magic Colombian powder the Secret Service found in a restricted area of the White House.
The problems posed by this thankless job — which can’t just be outsourced to artificial intelligence transcription software, given the president’s penchant for unintelligility and senile moments — presented themselves again on Monday, when no less than eight points had to be corrected with strikethroughs and bracketed corrections after a gaffe-filled Biden campaign speech Sunday night before the Detroit branch of the NAACP.
“I don’t feel tired, I feel inspired!” Biden loudly declared to kick off his remarks. That inspiration apparently quickly left him, along with coherence.
Take his remarks less than a minute later: “And when I was vice president, things were kind of bad during the pandemic, and what happened was Barack said to me, ‘Go to Detroit and help fix it.’ Well, poor mayor, he spent more time with me than he ever thought he was going to have to,” Biden said.
Biden, as you may recall, was the vice president from January 2009 to January 2017; the coronavirus pandemic struck the U.S. in 2020.
BIDEN: “When I was vice president, things were kinda bad during the pandemic…”
(Biden was not vice president during the pandemic) pic.twitter.com/McZXfjgr2u
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) May 20, 2024
White House transcript: “And when I was vice president, things were kind of bad during the pandemic [recession].”
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Oh, but he was just getting warmed up. I’ll just post the edited quotes from the transcript, which speak for themselves most times.
At 1:30 (on being given the organization’s lifetime achievement award): “Folks, I’m humbled to receive this organization [award], which defines the character and consequence of what we do. I’m always grateful to Derrick Johnson, the leadership for the NAACP.”
At 2:40: “Look, folks, I just came from Atlanta, where I delivered a commencement at Morehouse College. (Applause.) It was truly inspiresing [inspiring]: over 400 young Black men who will do extraordinary things.”
Then, he took a nearly three-minute break before this stumble at 5:30: “On my watch, more Black Americans have health insurance than ever in all of history. I protected and expanded the Affordable Care Act, saving millions of families $800,000 in prem- — $8,000 [$800] in — a year in premiums.”
Then, a minute later, he accidentally implied his administration was going after those responsible for low rents: “We’re increasing access to capital to start business and loans to buy homes. We’re cracking down on corporate landlords who [to] keep rents down. Our policies are resulting in historic lows of Black unemployment. Black small businesses are starting up at the fastest rate they have in 30 years. We’re opening the doors to generational wealth. In fact, the racial wealth gap is its lowest level in 20 years.”
Whoops.
Still getting warmed up, though. At 10:40: “[Donald Trump] brags about getting Roe v. Wade overturned. He not only denies reproductive freedom but worsens the mortality rate for black moms, who have [are] nearly three times more likely to die from pregnancy complications than a white woman.”
That was just ungrammatical, however. At least all of them were words. The next strikethrough, also in regards Trump, came at 13:10: “Just listen to him. He calls the irrectionists [insurrectionists] who stormed Capitol Hill ‘patriots.’ He says, if reelected, he wants, quote, ‘every’ one of them pardoned.”
Again about Trump, this time repeating the “bloodbath” lie while getting the word wrong, one minute later: “But that’s not Donald Trump. Donald Trump has said, if he loses again in November, there will be, quote, ‘bloodshed’ [‘bloodbath’]. What in God’s name are we talking about here? This is the United States of America.”
What in God’s name is he talking about, anyway? Even he’s wondering. He knows what country he’s in, which is actually pretty good for Biden, but that’s about it.
Finally, in closing: “Earlier this month, I posthumously awarded [slain civil rights leader] Medgar Evers the Presidential Medal of Freedom, our nation’s highest civilian honor. (Applause.) His spirit endures. The NAAC [NAACP] spirit endures.”
The debacle in full:
Not that this is anything new, nor even a new low, but the frequency of the edits to transcripts raises the question of who is calling the shots at 1600 Pennsylvania when this guy is nominally in charge, yet can’t even remember who was vice president during the start of the COVID pandemic (it wasn’t him).
To get a good sense of how Augean the stables that the White House transcript editor needs to clean out are, look at the fine plastic surgery they did on this bit of incoherency from 2022:
Is everything okay?
We carried Presdient Biden’s Ukraine remarks live on @FaulknerFocus today. #kleptocracy pic.twitter.com/aINZImChEy
— HARRISFAULKNER (@HARRISFAULKNER) April 29, 2022
The official remarks: “In addition to this supplemental funding, I’m also sending to Congress a comprehensive package of — that will enhance our underlying effort to accommodate [hold accountable] the Russian oligarchs and make sure we take their — take their ill-begotten gains,” the transcript read.
“Ha, we’re going to ‘accommodate’ them,” the transcript continued. “We’re going to seize their yachts, their luxury homes, and other ill-begotten gains of Putin’s kleptoc- — yeah — kleptocracy and klep- — the guys who are the kleptocracies. (Laughs.)”
I understand starting from the bottom when you enter politics, but editing Joe Biden for official consumption is blatant workplace abuse. It’s time to stop the cycle of violence. Just post whatever the transcription software spits out and be done with it, folks at the White House.
It’d be a lot more entertaining that way, to boot.
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